The Light of a Man (Version 1)
by Freohr Weohnata Kausta
Summary: Two men, He and Guy, fall into Portals that connect to different realities that were once fiction. They have to travel between the different worlds to find and kill creatures of pure darkness. This is the first version in what would've been my first book ever. Of course, this is the Fiction version of the world that I wanted to create. Version 1 has 7 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter

1

Darkness

"Welp… here I am. Again." He said while dropping his head to rest on his chest

"Don't forget about me!" The Other Guy said with a grin

"I can't flaming forget about you, because you're too bloody annoying!"

"Which is why I'm here!" The Other Guy said happily

He sighed while shaking his head, "Yes, I suppose so."

"Sooooooooooooooooooooo… where are we?" The Other Guy said while scratching his head

"We are in NOTHINGNESS! I think."

"It doesn't look like nothingness."

He raised an eyebrow, "Why would you say that?"

"Because there is a speck of light coming towards us slowly."

"Really?" He said with his eyebrow still raised

"Yup, look behind you."

He turns around and both his eyebrows raise, "Hmm… so it seems. Want to go take a look it's a bit closer now."

"Sure!" The Other Guy said while he started singing softly to himself, "we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizar-"

"Please stop, before I snap, and most likely kill you."

The Other Guy deflated, "okay…" he said sadly.

They walked in silence but The Other Guy was humming _'The Imperial March'_. He nudged The Other Guy and said, "Hey, you wanna Break the fourth wall?"

"Sure, about now seems good now that we are just walking to the light."

"Ahem… Hello Readers! Welcome to… to… eh… excuse me for a moment." He whispered to The Other Guy, "Guy do you know where we are?"

"Nope. Just as clueless as you."

"Well, let's call it THE NOTHINGNESS." He said while waving his hand in an arc "Ahem- "

"Do you have to clear your throat every time you address the Readers?"

"Well… I suppose not."

"Okay then, continue."

"Readers, Welcome to THE NOTHINGNESS, a place where basically nothing exists- "

"Except for us and that light that is continually growing, of course."

"Yes, that too." He said slightly annoyed "Well it seems close enough to take a look at what's in it."

"Well it seems to be a world- wait is… is it changing?!"

"It seems so…"

The light that He and The Other Guy were staring into was changing into these worlds, Middle Earth, Alagaësia, Tatooine, and a darkened cave.

"Which one do you want to jump into?" The Other Guy asked

"Well, lets just jump in the one that will pop up when we jump." He replied

"So, we're just jumping in blindly?"

"Yup!"

"Alright! Lets do dis!" The Other Guy said as they were jumping into the light of one of the worlds.

* * *

**You can seriously tell that I wasn't as good as I am now. 430 words in all, it wasn't that good. Barely worth of notice on FFN. **

**Mainly dialogue-centric, there wasn't very many details that went in here. Version 2 of this isn't much better- maybe a few hundred more words.**

**I'll leave it here and post the second chapter tomorrow. Version 2 will be posted after I'm done posting Version 1.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter

2

Falling

"And we're just falling, falling, falling for you, falling, falling, falling for you." The Other Guy sang

"Do you really have to make references every time something happens?" He asked

"Yup!" The Other Guy replied while he was humming a song to himself

He sighed, "Well we better make the most of just falling in air. Alright now that I can see myself and Guy we should describe ourselves to the Readers." He said, "I am wearing a green T-shirt and some shorts, while Guy is wearing a- wait, what _are_ you wearing?"

"Well I took to the liberty of changing my clothes in the menu- "

"Wait… menu, what menu?"

"Act like you are going into your inventory just like a game, any game, and change your appearance. Now, like I was saying, I am wearing a T-shirt that is dark green and brown-ish and some shorts. What are you wearing now He?"

"Hehehehehehehehehe." He said with a grin. He was wearing a- actually I'm not going to say what He's wearing.

"Yeah Author, better not say and leave the Readers wondering what He's wearing."

"Alright, I've changed back into my original clothes. I changed just to see your reactions." He said chuckling to himself.

"Well it seems that the ground is rushing closer to us, should we deploy our chutes?"

"Shoots? What shoots?"

"P-a-r-a-c-h-u-t-e-s."

"Oh… we don't have any."

"Oh yeah, forgot 'bout dat"

"Well lets just hope we land safely."

"Yeah…"

Since He and The Other Guy were closer to the ground they could make out the shape of the land, it looked like Alagaësia. So they just assumed that it was Alagaësia.

"Lets try to land on our feet!" He shouted over the wind in their faces

"Alright!" The Other Guy shouted back

When they were close enough He moved so that he could land on his feet, while The Other Guy was trying to show off to anybody down below by showing he would magically land on his feet. The Other Guy failed. Utterly. Right in the face of two people on horses adventuring. While He landed on his feet and rolled gracefully. "Oh man, haven't done that in years." He muttered to himself while he was knuckling himself in the back.

When he noticed the other people He bowed slightly and said, "Hello there my good sirs. My name is He, my partner there recovering from the fall is The Other Guy. May I ask your names?" While The Other Guy was picking himself off the ground.

"My name is Evan." The younger one replied

"My name is Neal." Replied the older one, "can I ask how you fell from the sky?"

"The name's Guy. Wats yours?" Guy said, with a slur, holding out his hand

"Guy, I've already introduced us." He whispered to The Other Guy

"Oh… what's their names?" The Other Guy whispered while putting down his hand

"That's Evan," He said motioning to the younger person, and then motioned to the older person, "and that's Neal."

"Nice to meet you." The Other Guy said nicely

"Well to answer your earlier question, me and Guy were just in complete darkness until some light came, we went towards it, jumped through it, and landed right in front of you guys." He summarized.

"Hmm…" Neal said, "Quite interesting, can I ask where you might be going?"

"I'm kinda wanting to travel with you a bit, since we don't really know our way around this place."

"Some company might be good," Evan said, "well it has been quite lonely all by ourselves uncle."

"Well, I suppose so-" Neal started to say but got cut off

"Well its settled then, we're traveling with you!" The Other Guy interjected happily

"Well… okay, lets continue until nightfall then make camp." Neal said

When nightfall came they made camp, Neal and Evan sparred. When they were done, Evan had welts all over him and Neal didn't have that many. He asked, "Evan, may I see your blade for a moment?" Evan looked at Neal. Neal nodded to give the blade to him.

"This is a fine piece of work Evan," He said "where did you get it?"

"Neal gave it to me. Are you some sort of blacksmith?" Evan asked

"No, I've just seen people do this sort of thing, I was just wanting to see your reaction." He replied. While he was saying this The Other Guy was just cracking up. "Laugh it up fuzz ball." He said in a mock angry voice while allowing himself a few chuckles

"I'm- not- fuzzy." The Other Guy said in between laughs. Then he fell off the log he was sitting on from laughter.

Evan looked at He and The Other Guy several times, not understanding what happened between them. He saw Evan's confusion and told him, "You'll get used to it after a while."

"Yeah and your secret sister might come and kiss you." The Other Guy said recovering from his laughter, then he burst out laughing again from the look of confusion on both Neal and Evan's faces.

Still thoroughly confused Evan said, "I don't have a sister." That statement brought another round of laughter from The Other Guy.

"That's what Luke said," The Other Guy said still laughing "Then he found out he had a twin sister!"

Even more confused than before Evan asked, "Who's Luke?"

The Other Guy was about to say something but Neal interjected before this could go on any longer, "Lets go to sleep guys its late already."

They went to sleep with murmurs of agreement and fading laughs.

The next morning, they packed up and went on their way. When they got on the horses He asked Neal, "So where are you and Evan headed?"

Neal replied, "To Teirm, to see an old friend of mine."

"Hmm, me and The Other Guy might split up with you at Teirm, if you don't mind, I would like to see more of this world."

"Then you might want to see Surda or the Hadarac desert or maybe even the Beor Mountains, in the south, or Du Weldenvarden, the great forest up north."

"Hmm, I might try the Hadarac desert then Du Weldenvarden."

"You better be prepared to face the Hadarac desert then, if you're going there first."

"What should I take with me?"

"A goat hide tent, a whole load of water, and maybe some pouches to keep some of your stuff in. Oh, don't forget about some food and pots to cook and eat."

"Alright, I'll get the stuff at Terim, Was it?"

"Yes, are you sure you want to traverse the desert?"

"No, I don't want to ruin some dessert, but I do want to traverse to desert, but dessert would be quite nice."

While He was saying that Neal was slowly shaking his head, He saw this and asked, "What? Am I not punny enough for ya?"

Up ahead they heard The Other Guy roar with laughter Neal asked Evan, "What did you tell him?"

Evan opened up his mouth to reply, but The Other Guy beat him, "He and his puns, but don't fourget about me!" and then he roared with laughter again.

Then both Neal and He were shaking their heads at The Other Guy's attempt at making a pun. Evan, as usual, was dumfounded still. He told Evan, "You'll get it sometime. Most likely years after it happened."

After Eragon left Alagaësia, Blödgarhm said some of the jokes/puns He and The Other Guy said. When Eragon questioned him about this, he just replied, "I met a Guy."

They traveled in silence except for the occasional joke or traveler that passed by. When it was time for lunch, He thought of a great joke, "What did the Ketch say to the Guardian?" knowing full well that they did not know the reference except you Readers, when they all shook their heads, he said, "Ketch me if you can!" with The Other Guy looking up into the sky, shaking his head. Other than that incident, nothing else happened, except for an instance where The Other Guy fell into the Toark River while jumping on rocks right next to the river, Evan, Neal, and He laughed so hard while The Other Guy argued that he was 'hand-fishing,' but he just didn't want to admit that he fell in because he lost his footing. Nobody wants to admit that, right?

When they were close to Terim, He asked Neal, "Do you know where we could find some inns?"

"Well there's The Green Chestnut, The Silvery Pearl, and The Golden Chest, those are some of the most popular inns but if you want something cheap, then you're out of luck, because I don't know any of the less popular ones." Neal said with a look of concentration on his face.

"Alright, thanks for the help and traveling company, but we'll be going on ahead to look for some of the inns you mentioned and thanks again for the company and information." He said as he and The Other Guy were walking faster ahead of them.

Evan asked Neal when they were out of earshot, "How did they keep pace with the horses?"

"They must be seasoned travelers." He replied

"But they fell out of the sky."

"You're falling short of my expectations."

"But I'm making good progress in the Ancient Language."

"Expectations of jokes."

There was a mist when He and The Other Guy approached Terim, and when they were out of the mist, they were upon the city. When they approached the gate, a guard asked them, "What's yer names?"

He replied before The Other Guy could answer, "My name is He and my partner is The Other Guy."

"Strange names for strange lookin' people." He said looking them up and down

"And come from stranger places." The Other Guy said before He could stop him

"Ignore him he's just tired from walking all the way here." He said

"Y're the most confusing folks I've seen in my days as a guard."

"There will be stranger yet to come." The Other Guy interjected before He could stop him

"Well before this gets any more confusing, go right on into the city." The guard said before he could get more confused than he already is.

When they were past the guards He took The Other Guy down a side alleyway, and scolded him for speaking when he shouldn't have when they heard the guards questioning another person. They made out the names Evan and Neal, and a bit of the conversation when they got closer, "-had a bit too much sun when he was young'r. Touch o' the brain fever, y' know."

"Right. Go on through," they heard the possible guard say, "Just make sure he doesn't cause any trouble."

"Oh, he won't," they heard Evan promise the guard.

They heard the guard that interrogated Evan and Neal say to the one that interrogated He and The Other Guy, "Hey, the guys you questioned were right, there are stranger people yet to come." After He and The Other Guy heard this, they burst out with laughter, leaning on each other for support.

When they regained their senses, they went to The Green Chestnut. When they reached it they saw Evan and Neal exiting the inn, so He and The Other Guy decided to follow them. When they caught up to them, they were talking with a herbalist, it looked like they thanked her and went to the house on the right. The Other Guy went to talk with the herbalist, while He stood next to the house on the right. He overheard Neal's friend whisper, "Brom…?"

Neal or is it Brom? Said, "It's good to see you, Jeod! I'm glad that memory has not failed you, but don't use that name. it would be unfortunate if anyone knew I was here."

The one called Jeod said, "I thought you were dead, what happened? Why haven't you contacted me before?"

"All things will be explained. Do you have a place where we can talk safely?"

He thought that it was time to take his leave and so He went to The Other Guy who was done talking with the herbalist. He told The Other Guy, "Well it seems that Neal is Brom," seeing the look on his face he asked, "Does this mean anything to you?"

"Hmm… I have heard that name before, but I don't know where." The look on his face was evident that he was trying to remember.

"Well, we'll figure it out in time, who was that you were talking to earlier?"

"Oh! That was Angela, she's a herbalist, and I was interested in what she was holding that frog for."

Confusion was evident on He's face, so he asked, "I thought that was a toad?"

"Oh, it was, it is, but she's trying to prove that toads don't exist, only frogs. I really want to help her in her in her studies, but we have other things to do."

"Well, Guy we'll be staying here for a while so you can help her in her studies until we leave or she leaves."

The Other Guy looked confused, "What makes you think she will leave?"

"Well, she is a herbalist, so she might go looking for some herbs sometime sooner or later."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

**not much to say; just dialogue-focused. and maybe a few OOC moments. **

**And a little bit of weirdness at the start of the story. FYI: it was actually a dress that he wore. Yeah, i was weird way back when. . .**

**2,233 words in all.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter

3

Half-Wits

Two days after the incident that they named the 'Brom incident', The Other Guy was walking down the street to see Angela, when a person that had blond hair and blue eyes, much duller than The Other Guy's own, came up to him and said, "Don't tell him I was here, and don't give him my name." in a rushed manner.

The Other Guy asked him, "Who's chasing you? And what's your name?"

"Phil, and there is a Half-blind, Half-wit chasing me." And after that sentence he ran off to the right. A little bit after that the possible Half-blind, Half-wit came up to him and asked him where Phil went.

The Other Guy answered, "He went that way." Pointing backwards. The Half-blind, Half-wit thanked him and waddled off in that direction.

Later that day, He went to Jeod's house asking for Neal, who is Brom, but he still used the name He was given, and Evan, the butler answered, "Yes sir, I think he is in the study. Why, is he excepting you?"

"Just tell him He is waiting outside, please."

"Yes sir." And he disappeared into the house with a look of skepticism.

When he returned he told He to follow him, and he led him to the study. When upon arriving at the study, He was surprised to see Neal teaching Evan how to read. Neal asked him, "What do you want, He?" looking slightly annoyed at him interrupting their studies.

He's eyes lit up as he thought up a great line to say, "Oh, Evan don't forget to," in a deep evil voice he said, "RESSURRECT THE DEAD." In his normal voice he said, "What are you learning, Evan?"

Evan answered, "How to read."

"Hmm… I didn't know you couldn't read."

"My dad said that reading wasn't important, but uncle thinks that it is important."

"Well I didn't mean to interrupt, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"We're doing fine thank you," Neal growled out before Evan could say anything.

"Well I will take my leave and let you return to your studies. Farewell."

"Bye." Evan said as He left. Seeing the look on Brom's face he asked, "What?"

"They're a bad influence on you."

"Ba- bad influence? Brom, you've said a joke and- _and_ a pun!"

"You're falling short of my expectations, again."

"Brom, saying the same pun/joke again doesn't make it any punnier."

"You're still falling short of my expectations again. Now, back to learning." Brom said forcefully, implying that the conversation was over.

The next day The Other Guy was walking to go to Angela's store when he had a sudden Déjà vu, when Phil ran up to him and said, "Don't tell him my name and don't tell him I was here."

The Other Guy answered simply, "Okay." And Phil ran behind him this time, and then the Half-blind, Half-wit showed up like yesterday and spoke to him with a slur, "You lied to me yesterday, he went to the right and you said that he went behind you."

The Other Guy said, "I'm sorry 'bout that, but now this time he actually went to the right."

The Half-blind, Half-wit thanked him again and waddled off to the right. The Other Guy continued on his way to Angela's shop with a question on his tongue. When he reached her shop, Angela said, "So you've met Phil and the Half-blind, Half-wit."

"Yes," he answered completely ignoring the way she knew about that, and said, "Do you know what happened that made the Half-blind, Half-wit start chasing Phil?"

"Oooh! That's a good story!" she exclaimed

"Will you inform me of the story, then?" he said knowing the way of how she talked

"Sure! It was just a few… actually I can't remember when, but who cares! Phil cussed while trying to get his peanuts back from an annoying kid, when the Half-blind, Half-wit asked Nigel what his name was and I he answered that it was Phil, when he knew what his actual name was, and no I'm not going to say what his real name is, but you know who you are if you're reading this."

"Wait, you know this is a book?"

"I know a great many things. And that this is actually an unexplained part in one book which the author of this book, which the Readers are reading now, took advantage of."

"Hmm, somehow I knew that you knew that."

"Never underestimate me, those who do end up dead."

"I will never understand and underestimate you, Angela. Also, how do you like breaking the Fourth wall?"

"Oh, I love it since I can't break it in the other book."

"It's Quite fun ain't it?"

"Yes." She said quite calmly despite her excited look.

"Well it seems you will go shopping and I will not hinder you, so farewell."

"Bye! And don't forget that toads are frogs and will only be frogs!" she yelled after him.

"I won't forget!" he yelled back.

The incident with Phil and the Half-wit happened every day until they began to leave and even then it happened and here's how it went,

They were walking to the gate when Phil came running out of one of the streets and said, like every other time that it happened, "Don't tell him I was here, don't tell him my name." and ran off into an alleyway. Then came along the Half-blind, Half-wit.

He looked at The Other Guy accusingly and said with the ever-prominent slur, "Why do you keep lying to me? And which way did he go?"

"I keep telling you I'm not lying, and this time he ran out of the city the direction that the road goes."

And the Half-blind, Half-wit thanks him and waddles off in the direction of two travelers on the road.

He asks The Other Guy, "Did you know who those travelers on the road are?"

"Nope, do not know at all do you?"

"No, but they left about an hour before us." He said as they were walking down the road.

* * *

**Weird characterness. and a bit of random OC, too.**

**1,025 words.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter

4

The Haddak Dessert

The next morning, He and The Other Guy were walking by Leona Lake, when they saw a great explosion of water farther down. They were expecting some dramatic thing to happen, but nothing absolutely nothing happened, but it sure looked cool. Seriously the water up in the air glistening and sparkling in the morning sun.

A few weeks after they left Teirm, they arrived at Dras-Leona. The city was… interesting. That is the only way to describe it, apart from the fact that it was filthy, and beggars at the gate.

One of the beggars looked extremely familiar to He and The Other Guy, but they dismissed the face immediately. The beggar was jostling towards them and asking for just a bit of money, but they pushed past him. Once they got into the center of the city, they found an inn, The Golden Globe. It was a cheap but not very nice place. They bought some rooms there and when they saw the bed, He said, "I'm sleeping on the floor, the bugs on there can eat you alive, given some time."

The Other Guy just simply replied, "Well you always gotta have a full stomach, even if you're a bug."

He just shook his head. They wandered town that evening and saw Evan walking around and looking at people's wares, and joking around with some of them. They decided to follow Evan as he went around the city, when he stopped for some food and sat on a curb they nodded to each other thinking the exact same thing, talking to him. When they neared him, he got up and walked in the direction they were headed, like he knew that they were following him. Until they found what he was interested in, a slave auction. They saw him slowly raise his arm apparently angry, then he quickly lowered it and still looked, but at himself. They decided not to follow him when he walked away, because they were too interested in the next slave for sale, once the little girl was sold. The auctioneer yelled, "Here's a nice young lad just found him in the Hadarac Desert, he got some muscle not much but just enough for farming! Just telling you lords and ladies, he's a good one on a farm, if he don't run away first!" the crowds laughed at that.

They thought that the slave for auction was familiar and got caught up studying him, but an alarm rang from the Cathedral breaking them from their thoughts, and they rushed to the Golden Globe to gather their things, so that the officials won't suspect it was them. When they got there they saw Neal and Evan rushing out, getting on their horses and galloping out of the town. They followed them and saw the pike men get pushed out of the way and the gate stop lowering, and when they were out of the gate it fell with a thud. While He and The Oher Guy were walking to the Golden Globe, The Other Guy commented, "So, Evan can do magic, so can Br-Neal." Catching himself at the last second.

"Nice catch. Yeah I've always found that they were a strange pair since we met them." As He said that, they heard yells to get the gate open. "We should get out of here before the officials think we have to do anything about it, you know, we said their names, so yeah."

They packed up their things at the Golden Globe and started off towards the gate, there was still a crowd there but not as many as when it happened. The gate was open, but strangely there was no guards going through it. Once they were a bit away from the city, He asked The Other Guy, "So, where do you want to go from here?"

The Other Guy replied, looking at his left wrist, "Hmm, lets go to the capital."

"Which way is that?"

"Err… an easterly direction." The Other Guy said waving in a north-eastern direction while still looking at his wrist.

"Well we're wasting daylight, just standing here. Let's go!" He said not knowing that they were being followed.

They stopped at a few towns and slept at some inns there on their way to Urû'baen, the capital. On one town near the capital they saw Evan's face and his name it said this:

_Reward:_

_Eragon_

_100,000 crowns and an Earldom_

_To whomever captures him __**alive**_

He told The Other Guy, "Hmm, so Evan's name is Eragon. Well, we both know their real names now."

"Yup," The Other Guy said, and quietly to himself he said, "I knew his name was Eragon."

"What do you mean?" He inquired

"Well, whenever I say Evan I always want to say Eragon instead."

"Hmm." Was all He said.

It took them several days to reach the capital, it was a nice place, except it seemed ready to explode, or implode? Meh, but they didn't stay there long. Took them several more days as they traveled north to Bullridge, a big town, not as big as Urû'baen, though. They stayed in that town for some time to prepare for the journey to the Hadarac desert. Here is how some of their adventures went in Bullridge:

He was looking at a small shop that had maps of the Hadarac desert, when the merchant asked him, "You goin' into da desert?"

"Yes." He answered not paying much attention to the merchant

"Well I get a bit o' supplies for traveling 'nto da desert." The merchant said with a bit of an accent.

"What type of supplies for going into the Haddak Dessert? Mind you, I don't want to ruin the dessert."

"Huh?" was all the merchant said not understanding his joke.

"The Hadarac Desert." He said shaking his head at the merchant's ability to not get a joke.

"Oh! Yeah, come with me." The merchant says as he goes deeper into his shop

He follows him inside. The inside of the shop was almost like Angela's shop, but not with all the plants and the rest of the stuff she has in there, but the merchant's shop was cluttered, items hanging down from the ceiling, bottles, pots, and pans all on the tables, bags on the floor, on tables and hanging from the ceiling, there was also some futuristic armor and weapons, one of them looked purple with spikes coming out of it. And to top it off it had a smoky air and a greenish tint to the shop, and it smelled slightly of oranges.

When He reached the back of the shop where the merchant was waiting, he said, "Catch!" and threw three bags, sixteen waterskins, a few pots and pans, and two sleeping bags.

When He finally caught them all and put them into the bags, he commented, "I never knew I had those reflexes."

The merchant said, "You have the reflexes of a warrior, son, I would like to see you in battle."

"Perhaps, but I'm not gonna be in any battles soon, I try to live a laid back life."

The merchant gave a small chuckle, "You won't find that here."

He cocked his head, "Why is that?"

"The war between the Empire and the Varden."

"Well, I have no plans to get caught up in that."

"We all get caught up in it sooner or later."

"Well, thanks for the help in getting some supplies, how much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, I haven't had a good talk like that in years. And something tells me we shall meet again."

"Well, thanks again for the help!" He yelled as he was leaving the shop with the supplies.

"Your welcome and also you say 'well' too much!" the merchant yelled back

"I know." He muttered as he left for the inn he and The Other Guy were staying in.

They stayed a few more days planning out their trip, and talking to people who have visited the ruins in the middle of the desert, and came back alive from the trip. The explorers told them of ginormous ruins and many treasures to be found at the center of the desert, including giant mountains, unlike the Beor Mountains, those were bigger the explorers say. Barely anybody believes them.

When it finally became time to start on their trip, they decided to cross the Ramr River farther south than they anticipated, where the river doubles back. They spent a few days camped there wondering how to cross it. When Eragon and a dragon and another man comes near to the area they were camped at. While they were still pondering how to cross the Ramr River when they heard Eragon exclaim, "A half_-_mile!"

When they heard this He and The Other Guy looked at each other and nodded, thinking the exact same thing, 'let's go back upstream,' And so, they wasted another few days. When they reached Bullridge, they took the ferry across to the desert, thought they didn't go there first. They went to Du Weldenvarden. It took them several more days to get near the border of The Guarding Forest, when they did, they met an elf.

* * *

**You know, when I was writing this, my friends wanted to have little cameos in the books. Take, for example, the guy in the previous chapters who was escaping from Phil, i think the name was. He was one of my friends and that part of the book was based off something that happened in real life. The familiar beggar is another one of those cameos. i think. There'll be a few more in here.**

**The slave also. that was also a cameo.**

**ugh.**

**1,551 words.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter

5

Of Elves and Animals

"Hello, I'm He, and this is-" He got out before The Other Guy interjected.

"And I'm The Other Guy, yeah, I got the name because I was introduced second in the book. And why do you call me your `partner'?" The Other Guy said looking quite annoyed at He.

"Well it was the Author's choice to put you second in the book, and just be glad you're not called `sidekick'." And at He's remark started off an argument that lasted a few hours, they also took some quick side glances at the elf and he was quite amused, until someone mentioned tacos. Yes, tacos. Then the elf just burst out laughing. When they heard the elf laughing, they stopped and looked at each other, He said, "Well, it seems our plan worked."

The Other Guy looked confused, "What plan?"

"egg-xcatly." He said with a small grin on his face, "Well, like I was saying, what is your name?"

"My name is Blödgarhm." the elf said

"Strange name for a strange person." The Other Guy commented

"The same to you people."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"There are stranger people yet to come." He said mysteriously

Blödgarhm gave a bark of laughter, "I doubt that, all the elves are strange."

"Just wait, it worked last time."

"What worked last time?" The Other Guy asked confused

"Remember the guards?"

"Oh yeah! Those idiots."

"Yeah, Them." He said reminiscing

"So, what are we gonna do?"

"Dunno, maybe we could-" He started to say, but got cut off by a black bear launching at The Other Guy, knocking him down.

"Ahh! Blacky stop it, Gah!" The Other Guy was screaming and laughing while the bear now known as 'Blacky' started licking him like an overgrown puppy.

He blinked several times, then started laughing at The Other Guy's predicament, only for Blödgarhm to start laughing at him when a gray and white wolf pounced on him and started licking He, like the puppy it was.

"Gah! Snowy! What did I tell you about - Gah! – licking me!" The Wolf now known as 'Snowy' got off of He and sat to the right of him as did Blacky to The Other Guy.

Soon, there was a grey blur that launched at He's face and started to move quickly all around it, until He grabbed it while it was in the middle of his face.

"Cooney, what did I tell you about running over people's faces?" The animal identified as a raccoon, that is now identified as 'Cooney', responded with a few chirps/barks.

"Good. Glad to see you remember. But somehow I don't. . . Hmm, well no time to dwell on it now. We need to get going to the center of the desert. I don't know what's there, but I feel drawn to it. . ." He's face took on a pensive look.

"Tat! He! We need to go, stop thinking hard and let's get going." The Other Guy yelled in He's face.

"Quid Est? Etiam! Let us go to the center of the Haddak Dessert!" He cried out and turned on one heel to face the desert that they were headed to with a hand that was pointed to the sky.

The Other Guy sighed, "It's going to be a long day. Come Blacky, Cooney, and Snowy."

The animals followed He and The Other Guy, leaving a befuddled and confused elf behind.

Two days later found He, The Other Guy and the animals approaching the mountainous ruins of the long lost civilization of dwarves.

"Wow, I expected something greater than these stone huts for a long lost civilization." The Other Guy commented, motioning towards the small huts built into the rock of the mountains in the middle of the desert.

"Oh, just wait Guy, it'll get better the farther we get in." He said in response to The Other Guy's comment.

"How do you know? You've never been here before."

"True, but it's the same for all ancient civilizations, the most important buildings are in the middle. For strategic defense of the city."

"Really? Never knew that."

"Remember Terim?"

"Yeah," The Other Guy replied, not knowing where He was going with this.

"Remember how it had the least important buildings near the outside, near the wall?" The Other Guy replied in the affirmative, "Well it has to do with something called cannon fodder, let the ones that are useless get killed first. So they used that philosophy and took it to buildings, now the most important ones, like the lord's house, the courthouse, and others like that, in the center of the city. Now, some cities don't do that anymore, but they get destroyed pretty quickly. But in the ones that have the different levels with the most important buildings in the center, the buildings on the outside will have been destroyed, with the wall, so that the people will have the time to escape to the center of the city."

By the time He had finished his rant, they had reached the center of the ancient dwarf ruins where there were pillars holding the ceiling of rock, keeping it from falling, the pillars had spirals going along their length, with geometric designs on the bottom and tops of the pillars where it was closer to the ceiling or floor. The floor was separated into different squares, the square in the center of the hall was made of a giant gem, the rest of the squares had the history of the nomadic dwarves, up until they left.

One of the squares showed a portal with creatures coming out of it, some that have not been seen before in Alagaësia.

Both He and The Other Guy gasped when they saw this, and He said vehemently, "We need to find that portal, NOW!" The Other Guy agreed instantly.

They ran towards the center where the crystal was, and when they reached it, they skidded to a stop.

"What do we do, He?" The Other Guy asked

"ARGGHHH! I don't know! Maybe we step on it? I Don't KNOW!" He yelled, angered, "GAHHH!"

"No time to think on it now. I think I can feel or hear something coming." And at the time The Other Guy said that, Blacky, Snowy and Cooney, all growled at something behind them.

He and The Other Guy turned around slowly, and saw a creature of pure darkness coming straight at them.

"Run, Run, Run. RUN!" He yelled, "I'll try and hold it off!"

"NO! I will not let you face it on your own, Frater Meus!" The Other Guy yelled back at him.

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR BRAVERY, GUY!"

"IT ISN'T BRAVERY HETON! I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!"

"ARGHH! FINE! YOU WIN THIS ROUND GUY DON'T THINK YOU CAN WIN THE OTHERS!"

"I don't think I can, I know I can," The Other Guy muttered under his breath, in a louder voice he said, "Alright come on, get on the crystal!"

They all turned and ran towards the crystal in the floor, and to their utter surprise, the crystal seemed to glow underneath their feet, and it felt like their bodies were pulled apart, not a good feeling they'll tell you that.

The last thing they saw of Alagaësia, was the giant shadow worm-like beast launching towards where they were transported.

* * *

**Random animals that are actually stuffed animals that I have joined up with He and Guy. yup. it's weird.**

**The Shadow-worm beasts are really freaking creepy. **

**also a giant gem in the center of a giant room. **

**'Frater Meus' means 'my brother' in Latin. I think. Checked with google translate: it does.**

**1,240 words.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter

6

More Portals

When He awoke, all he saw was darkness. At first he thought he didn't open his eyes, but then he saw some light. Slowly, he got up and looked around, saw that there were MORE portals than the last time they were here, because he's pretty sure that there was only one the last time.

Some groans came from his left, and he saw The Other Guy slowly stirring. The animals were already up and about, looking at the portals, but they couldn't get through them for some reason.

"H-He? Are you here?" He heard The Other Guy say

"Yea."

"Where are we?"

"Back at the NOTHINGNESS, though, I wouldn't call it that anymore."

"Why not?" The Other Guy asked genuinely confused

"Um… well for starters, there is more than one Portal this time."

The Other Guy looked around at his surroundings for the first time, and started when he saw the Portals, "O-oh, Hmm." The Other Guy flashed***** towards one of the Portals and was slowly moving his hand to the opening, when He called out,

"Guy! Don't!" but, of course, The Other Guy didn't hear him. When The Other Guy's hand reached the opening, he found that there was a barrier blocking his hand,

"Huh? Wha-" The Other Guy said intelligently, then he started banging on it with his fist. "I can't get through!"

"Maybe it's the wrong portal?!"

The Other Guy stopped hitting the barrier immediately, "Hmm, I guess so." Then he flashed to another portal and put his hand to it and it went straight through to the other side. "Hey, He, this one might be the one that we originally went through?"

He went to the Portal to get a better look at what The Other Guy was looking at, "Huh, so it is. Do you want to jump through again or-" But He didn't get to say anything else when The Other Guy's arm, that was in the Portal, started to go deeper.

"Huh? Wha-?! He! Help!" The Other Guy yelled in a panicky voice

Quickly, He grabbed onto The Other Guy's other arm that was outside of the Portal, flailing wildly. The Portal was slowly consuming The Other Guy's arm, soon enough, The Other Guy's whole arm was inside the Portal, and it was starting to begin on his body.

"HE! It's getting closer to my head!" The Other Guy yelled

"I'm trying all I can to stop it, Thanguin!" He yelled back

"Well I don't think that it's enough!"

"Gahh! Stop talking, start pulling!"

Soon enough, the Portal gave one final pull on The Other Guy, made He lose his hold, and had The Other Guy fall into the Portal, which showed the dark cave.

He stared at the Portal in dismay for several seconds, then he muttered under his breath looked at the animals sitting down, looking at the Portal where The Other Guy disappeared, and said to them, "Well, I'm gonna find Guy, one way or another."

Eyes hardened, resolve solidified, he jumped through the Portal to find The Other Guy.

Unbeknownst to him, the Portal changed dimensions right before he jumped through.


End file.
